Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Ahoy, mateys!

In honor of today, September 19th, being International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I've decided to take a break from the usual talk of toxic chemicals, environmental destruction, and the irreversible damage we've caused to the planet to offer some dumb hilarious environmental-themed pirate jokes!

Q: Whats a pirate's favorite owl?
A: A baaaarrrn owl

Q: Where does a pirate buy his/her groceries?
A: At the faaarrrmer's market (If pirates can buy local food, you can too)

Q: How do pirates fight global warming?
A: By reducing their caaaarbon footprint!

Q: Whats a pirate's favorite toxin?
A: Aaaaarsenic!

Q: What kind of milk do pirates drink?
A: aaaRBGH-Free (pirates say no to bovine growth hormone. obvs)

Leave your dumb hilarious eco-themed pirate joke below.

Consumer Rumors: Time to stop buying tissues

From Greenpeace's website, a new reason why we should all be wiping our noses with reusable hankies and wiping our bums with recycled toilet paper:

Shocking new photos released today reveal the existence of a massive stockpile of old-growth logs that are destined to become disposable products like Kleenex tissue and Cottonelle toilet paper for tissue giant Kimberly-Clark Corporation (K-C). The logs originate from the Ogoki Forest, the single most ecologically valuable area left in Ontario’s southern Boreal Forest and the site of growing controversy.

The stockpile is evidence of Kimberly-Clark’s egregious mismanagement of the forests despite company claims that “much of [the] fiber from the Canadian Boreal forest comes to K-C in the form of wood pulp produced from sawdust and chips – or leftovers – of the lumber production process.”

As these new photos and recent government correspondence reveal, Kimberly-Clark is currently purchasing huge quantities of pulp made primarily from whole, old-growth trees from intact areas of Canada’s Boreal Forest.

And, some astonishing facts from a recent report that Greenpeace put out on Kleenex, "Cut and Run":

• Kimberly-Clark uses hundreds of thousands of tonnes of tree fibre from the Kenogami Forest every year to produce disposable tissue products, including Kleenex.
• Kimberly-Clark directly managed and logged the Kenogami Forest for 71 years, from 1937 to 2004.
• Since Kimberly-Clark started logging there, 71 per cent of the Kenogami Forest has been fragmented. Woodland caribou have been driven out of 67 per cent of the forest, and wolverines have completely disappeared from its boundaries.
• Between 2001 and 2006 alone, 220,500 hectares (544,635 acres) of intact forest was fragmented—an area more than twice the size of Dallas.
• Caribou are predicted to die-off in 95 per cent of the forest within the next 20 years, due to the logging that has already been done. Eighty per cent of the monitored species in the forest are predicted to decline substantially within the next 100 years.
• Many of the remaining intact and old-growth forest areas in Kenogami, including critical threatened species habitat, are slated to be cut under the 2005–2010 and draft 2010–2011 plans.

(Eds note: Congrats to Rachel C. for winning the contest for naming this feature!)

Children do not need to be made fire retardant

A new study by the Environmental Working Group found that toddlers and preschoolers typically have 3 times as much toxic flame retardants in their blood as their mothers. In total, they found 11 different flame retardants in the children, and 86 percent of the time the chemicals were present at higher levels in the children than their mother.

Why is it a bad idea to have flame retardants in kids' bloodstreams? Flame retardants, or PBDEs, are widely used in in furniture foams, industrial textiles, and consumer electronics. PBDEs have been found in human breast milk, wildlife, and in food. In 1998, Swedish scientists discovered that PBDEs may pose significant risks to human and environmental health. As a result, the European Union and the states of California, Hawaii, Maine, New York and Washington took action to reduce, or ban, the use of PBDEs.

The good news is that the Michigan Legislature is currently discussing legislation to ban deca-BDE, a type of toxic flame retardant that shouldn't be used anymore. I just took action to get deca-BDE banned in Michigan, and if you live in Michigan, you should take a second to take action as well: http://www.mnceh.org/take.deca.php

Interesting Fact of the Day

Did you know that what we eat accounts for more than twice the amount of greenhouse gas emissions as how much we drive?

It may surprise you to learn that our diets account for up to twice as many greenhouse emissions as driving. One recent study suggested that the average US household's annual carbon food-print is 8.1 tonnes of "equivalent CO₂ emissions" or CO₂eq (a measure that incorporates any other greenhouse gases produced alongside the CO₂). That's almost twice the 4.4 tonnes of CO₂eq emitted by driving a 25-mile-per-US gallon (9 litres per 100 kilometres) vehicle 19,000 km - a typical year's mileage in the US.

Next time you are at the grocery store, make sure you look for local and organic food.

Source: New Scientist

Things That Make You Say Duh, Vol 4

"If you have an old forest on the ground, it's probably better to leave it there than to cut it"

The quote comes from a report showing that old growth forests absorb more carbon dioxide than they release into the atmosphere. There are a hell of a lot of other reasons to keep old growth forests around, but if this one will have an effect on decisions of whether to save old growth forests, then great.

If the forests get cut down, I guess we can always get the hippies to come and cry over the dead trees. Do you think that crying hippies are carbon sinks or carbon sources?

Source: AP

In Defense Of Community Organizing: Make Sarah Palin Apologize

In her acceptance speech last night at the Republican National Convention, Vice Presidential nominee and Alaska Governor Sarah Palin said, "I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a `community organizer,' except that you have actual responsibilities."

Nominally, her words were an assault on Barack Obama's early career as a community organizer on Chicago's south side. But the impact reaches farther than that and is a direct affront to the thousands who have dedicated their lives to making America great.

Community organizing is the heart and soul of American democracy. We are privileged to live in a country where people with the energy and passion to dream of a better world can put in the sweat and shoe leather to build social movements from the ground up. Indeed, if it weren't for the sacrifice of organizers, we wouldn't have many of the opportunities we take for granted today -- from the 40-hour work week and the minimum wage to protections for a woman's right to choose and the right of African Americans to vote.

In fact, Sarah Palin would never have been able to take the stage as the nominee at a national political convention if it weren't for community organizers of the past who dreamed of, fought for, and won the right of women's suffrage.

Americans dedicate themselves to public service in many ways, and everyone who gives of themselves for the betterment of our nation -- from small-town mayors to community organizers -- should be recognized and honored for their valuable contribution.

Tell Governor Palin to apologize for her remarks regarding community organizers. Sign the petition.

Maybe the world needs more hippies crying over dead trees

Hippies Wail for Dead Trees - Watch more free videos